All of us have dreams that we want to be materialized. Most of us have spent time relentlessly brooding over our dreams and enjoying the dopamine burst in our brains. I wish I had my own business, I dream to be the next CEO, I would be the most booked speaker, I wish I become a notable activist.
Unlike popularly belief the journey between the imagination and fulfillment is not action, not consistency, not resilience because they are a means to the end and not an end in itself. The first step in the ladder before any of the above matters is your “awareness of your dependency”on the materialization of your dream. Read that again.
Call it by any name a dream, a want or an aspiration unless it’s tagged to your identity it’s nothing but a random thought!!
Know if it qualifies as a want or a need.
Do you want it or do you need it?
Differentiate between wants and needs.
How much your dream defines you is how much you need it.
Here are 10 factors that can help you decide if what you wish for qualify as a need or a want:
Factor One: Fear of losing it.
Fear can be a positive feeling too when it makes you protect what is to be protected. Take an example – You fear to lose the love of your life due to different reasons like parental pressures or a tiff because that’s an inherent part of your emotional well-being and you don’t want an inner upheaval at any cost. Here fear makes you protective, caring, warm.
Similarly, when you are aware about the necessity of your dreams and aspirations you would guard them of any distractions and hurdles. Fear of losing in this case works as a catalyst. You will be wiling to walk that extra mile and give it everything to survive and sustain.
Nurture that fear because…
“Your dream owes its existence and draws its power from its non substitutability”.
Factory Two: Stubborn about it.
Your desires and ambitions are not going to stay quiet. They have a natural trajectory. It will show itself. As you progress it will be up for external reviews and criticism that is going to decide the power of its existence in your life.
Are you willing to keep at it irrespective of what others think and say?
Do you believe that your dreams only need you?
The answers to these questions will define your relationship with your aspirations.
When you believe you hold on!!
Factor Three: Inherently a part of your identity.
Here you answer the most difficult question for yourself…
Why it’s so important to follow your dream?
Do you associate your ‘self’ with your aspiration?
Is it a part of your core identity?
Does the accomplishment of your dream means more than just material benefits?
Ask these questions, it will help you decide if your dreams qualify as a purpose.
Your dreams are not just material possessions but more than that. You are the most comfortable doing it. It allows you to express yourself and aligns with your thoughts and beliefs. It motivates you and brings out the best in you. It is effortless and more importantly it drives you and not you driving it.
Factor Four: Willing to fail and heal.
Most of begin a work with great zeal and motivation but eventually when your dream throws challenges and demands to be sustained we give up. That’s the difference between the 99% who don’t achieve what they want and the 1% people who get it.
Consistency is a commitment to withstand even on the face of failure. Your dream will test you from time to time.
Colonel Sanders famous for the worlds favorite KFC chicken heard ‘no’ 1009 time before a ‘Yes’ at the age of sixty-five.
Be obsessed with your dreams. Give it everything it asks but at no cost give up.
Legend has it the greatest successes were once the biggest failures.
Factor Five: Associated with a longterm vision.
One thing that helps you decide if what you wish for qualifies as a want or need is the way it engulfs your life. When it’s a need it’s never short-term. Have a broader vision split into smaller goals and achieve them over time. Your dream to be the worlds leading hotelier might begin with starting a small restaurant in your present place. But before you began you had a clear vision chalked out and that precisely helped you answer the question “How can I achieve my vision?” Have a clear vision!
Factor Six: Nothing else lures you.
We have often heard people changing their goals. Well here I am not talking about people changing goals during different phases of their lives. That’s but natural. With time our needs evolve and that’s exactly how we grow. But if you are someone who shuffles between goals and find it tough to associate with a particular one and stay at it, it’s time to ask yourself some difficult questions.
We see multiple dreams in a lifetime, we have several wishes that we make but a purpose is here stay. It will always be the central force driving you. All other ambitions are a subset of this larger goal. It is primary and intertwined into your subconscious. Ask yourself “Why is it so important to follow your dreams?”
Factor Seven: It brings deep contentment.
You will know when your aspiration is truly a need when it offers you rewards that go beyond material benefits and brings a deep sense of gratification. It is fulfilling and is emotionally enriching. It allows you to express yourself and helps you evolve. It brings out your dormant talents and introduces you to the greatness that you always had. Every phase of the journey is satiating and promotes emotional wellbeing and expression.
Factor Eight: Allows you to be yourself.
This is the most rewarding part in living your life’s calling. You are free from the pressure of being someone else. It aligns with your core values and belief system. You don’t witness a constant tussle to break free. It puts you in the right frame of mind to carry out what you need. You are emotionally at peace.
Factor Nine: Untouched by external opinions.
We are born social but often times this acts as a hurdle when it comes to self-expression and being your true self. We are bound by laws that define our social stature and that pressure unfortunately reaps you of your virgin self in your attempt to fit in. But things change when you realize your true purpose. You kind of develop a shield that protects and guards your dreams. You have a definite vision and a well carved out direction you want to tread. It makes you confident and empowers you to counter negative criticism and unwanted appraisals.
Factor Ten: A purpose you want to live for.
The beauty of knowing your life’s calling lies in the perennial flow of electrifying energy that not only defines the now and your future but also the time beyond ‘you’. It defines your life and the legacy you want to leave behind. It leads you to self-actualization. It isn’t restricted to you but serves the greater good. Remember a purposeful life doesn’t mean a life of perfection. You will have to deal with your fair share of failures, mistakes, faults but have to navigate through the challenges thrown at you yet stick to your dream.
If you feel your dream, wish or aspiration meet the above criteria’s know you have found your life’s calling.